Loule Camara-So right and so wrong

I have the "pleasure" to live and work in the council of Loulé. I am proud of their achievements in terms of infrastructure, cultural events and modernising of the council, in the same way you might be proud of your dog learning a new trick. I wasn´t born here, but I choose to live in this council so I do feel part of what they do is relevant to me.

So, for the good works mentioned, 10 out of 10 to Loulé for their efforts. However, this is Portugal in 2009, and for everything done well, they let themselves down to the power of 2 (at least) with their horrendous "management" and "administration" of other matters.
In the past few weeks I have had dealings with a number of departments in the council. First I went to complain to the department dealing with the disastrously organised installation of drainage and water in our area. This has been haphazard and poorly managed and I wanted to squeeze someone's balls for this.

Normally when going on a mission such as this, I am prepared that (a) I will be ignored initially (b) the person will be far too busy to see me (c) I will make an appointment for sometime 2 weeks in the future and (d) I will lose my temper, read them the riot act and probably get to talk to someone sensible only after this. Bearing all this in mind, I opened the door and stepped in to the Dragons Den.

But no-one had told these people how a public department operates here, I think they must not have been on the "How to be obstructive to the public" training course. I went straight in to see the Engineer responsible and explained the problems and concerns. He APOLOGISED which is a first, and then took the time to explain exactly what was happening. He also promised to resolve the access problems we had, immediately.

I left somewhat shell shocked, and I felt even more so when I returned home to find machines already putting right the problems. 10 out of 10 again for the council (well, the engineer really).
Then the fun begins. I am at war with my small minded neighbour, who (if you believe his cousin who has not spoken to him for 20 years and hates him) has a penis the size of a matchstick. That´s not really relevant, but I just wanted to write it.

So I receive 2 of the councils finest Fiscal Inspectors at my house, dressed for the disco and with attitudes to match. They proceed to victimise me as I have raised a boundary wall (12m long) by 68cm. The way they talk, I am lucky that I am not currently in jail, it is such a severe offence. Please bear in mind that in the immediate area I live in (which is rural) there are 2 houses built totally illegally, 2 houses extended illegally and numerous miscellaneous acts of unlicensed construction.

These two pool both their brain cells and proceed to make things as difficult as possible. As soon as they informed me they were unhappy with the wall, I stopped work. However, they proceed to send me an official demand to stop, some 2 weeks later!
Then it just goes on and on. We bought a swimming pool in kit form and built it. They don´t like that. We laid a timber deck. They don´t like that. Etc. Etc.

The worst thing with this pair of amoebas is that whenever I ask them if it is ok to do something, they say they are not sure. Then they come back and penalise me for doing it! Total, complete and utter one watts.

It is pretty obvious that they are being deliberately awkward, as I have dealt with other people from the fiscal department who are much more professional and reasonable. It´s all been noted, and it will be used against them.

Moving on, our beloved council have decided to go back on their word and cancel approvals for projects and houses (which had parts to be legalised due to alterations) all across the council. For now, absolutely everything of this nature is on hold, and our council is the only one in the Algarve taking this stance. Imagine, you have written approval all is ok, and then one day you get a letter saying "Sorry, we have changed our mind. If you do not like it, take us to court. Yours not giving a toss at all, Loulé Council." This sort of behaviour ruins peoples lives.

So sorry Loulé, but for all the good work you have done, I (and many others) only remember the inefficiency, incompetence, nepotism and lack of respect for your citizens that you display.
Until someone has the brass balls to fire those who need firing, be responsible for the actions of their staff and take a genuine interest in the injustices that this entity produces, it will never change. It´s like an engine that has been steam cleaned and polished, looks wonderful but actually only runs on 3 cylinders and pollutes the air massively.

Save the planet you lazy bastards

I have been reading something elsewhere (on a totally different subject to that which has me tapping keys this evening) which has made me realise how apathetic the human race can be. The motto of some of the contributors should be "Apathy rules, maybe". Sadly, they could not even get off their lazy arses to write a slogan, methinks.
Now I was never particularly attentive in R.E. classes. but I think apathy was not one of the deadly sins. But it should be. Lazy people I can forgive (lets face it, if we were not all a bit lazy, TV would not exist). Stupid people ditto (its probably in the breeding anyway-parents related but not only my marriage etc.) But the apathists (is that a real word? I would ask them but they don´t give a toss) they should be made to suffer for their sins.
So. to my point. We have recently been trying to make sense of the damage that we, as a family, are doing to the planet, and to see what we can do to reduce it. The kids have been involved in the fun parts, and it seems to be sinking in. If you lived through the greed and avarice of the 1980´s, as I did, then recycling and being responsible is probably bit alien. I thought I would give you some examples of what you, YES YOU, can do.

• Recycle. Yes, its obvious, but do it, don´t talk about it. For those of you who live in rural areas, and have to take their stinky rubbish to the bins all the time (not good when important client/new beau/anyone with a sense of smell is the next person in your car), consider this. The bin run for us was a daily chore. Now that we recycle the majority of our waste, the bin run is twice a week, with a recycling run at the weekend. Much more convenient, particularly when you live on planet chaos in the mornings and can´t be arsed to sort the bin out, whilst fighting with 35 kg of Serra de Estrela/Boxer cross who wants to eat contents of said black bag. In summary, recycling can make your life easier. I guarantee you will be shocked at how much plastic you use.
• Grow something yourself. No hippies I don´t mean grow your own grass or mushrooms, but something that is a part of your normal diet. Tomatoes are sooooo easy to grow, peppers also, piri-piri just goes for ever etc. By growing your own, not only do you control how it is grown and treated, but you are saving kilometres of transport miles needed to bring the produce to your door.
• Use what you have. I can not tell you how many houses I see that have abundances of fruit and veg that just rot on the floor. Either give it away, do something with it (we have an abundance of lemons, and make simple lemonade which is fantastic), or (worst case) compost it. And that brings me on to:
• Compost. I have to admit Î never really understood compost until recently. If you are a compost virgin, as I was, then listen up. Get a compost bin. Fill it with pretty much all organic waste. Don´t put citrus fruit in, or meat leftovers. Let it rot down, and you then have all the nutrients you need for next years crops. It is (a) simple and (b) saves you buying compost and (c) means you have less rubbish. Why are you not all doing this now?
• Energy. Ok, I´m not a tree hugger (but I have kissed the odd bush) and I do have a long standing love affair with technology. However, when there is a solution which provides the same function, but at a reduced energy cost, that rocks. Some examples are:
  

1. Low energy light bulbs-yes the light is cold, but use a red or yellow lamp shade and you will never see the difference. LED bulbs as replacements for 35 and 50W halogens are a great idea (2w as opposed to 35w means that in an office each lamp will pay for itself within a year, kerching). WARNING-from personal experience, you will need to increase the amount of lamps you have in any given space to get the same light level, but it is still worth it.
2. Solar. Whichever way you look at it, we are stupid to ignore the possibilities of solar power. So, when your boiler breaks, consider solar panels. As from this year, the grant for solar power is independent of other benefits, and is in the region of 750 euros. Kerching.
3. Lights (again). Turn them off. Where possible and practical, install PIR´s to reduce wastage (office toilets are a classic example, as are stairwells)

• Water. Now please pay attention. This is a finite resource, and we should treat it that way. Use the rainwater. If you can not direct it to your cisterna, then at least use water butts to catch as much as you can. Lets face it rain is free water. Kerching.

Ok, thats enough for now, but if you have any ideas, feel free to add them. And for further inspiration, please read "sufficient" by Tom Petherick.

Dangerous roads? Oh yes.

Now I know that some people live in a bubble, and are able to travel around the Algarve and never notice how dangerous the roads (and the drivers are). Fortunately, the government accepts that we have a problem with road safety, hence the following statement:

Isilda Gomes, the civil governor of Faro, said: “Road accidents are a serious problem and all in the society need to be involved in finding an effective response.” The seriousness of the situation was reiterated by the civil governor who describes road accidents as the “number one problem that needs to be solved in the Algarve” and although many improvements have been made, more needs to be done.

So, as summer approaches and the roads get busier please be careful out there, and a little bit of consideration for others on the road never goes amiss. It is reassuring to see that there is an ongoing proposal to reduce road deaths and accidents, now all we need is some strong publicity to reinforce this.

Pay attention

Not for the first time, my light hearted commentary on life in the Algarve has got up someone's nose. Sadly, the comments left here had to be deleted, as they were judged to be simply offensive, and did not add anything to the blog. It´s great that people take the time to read what's written, but it´s a shame when they don´t see the whole picture.
Remember in exams when one of the first things you were told is to read the entire question before considering your reply? Well, the same applies when reading a newspaper, magazine, blog or any other article.
So, just to set the record straight, and to reiterate points already made:

1. The driving tips I have posted are a genuine observation of terrible driving that I witness on a daily basis. Nowhere do I say that this is a criticism of the driving of Portuguese people, but it is a criticism of those who are here in the Algarve, regardless of nationality. This is more about an underlying attitude which affects all of us here, and it is dangerous. Until there is a campaign with the type of shocking images that are seen in the USA and the UK I do not think people will understand how bad the situation us.
2. I only write about what I find. I don´t make it up (not enough time or imagination). So, that's what I see and experience, and it´s my take on it. That's the luxury of a blog, you can express your views, opinions and relate your experiences.

Finally, I welcome all posts here, if they add something to the blog. Posting of puerile, irrelevant or simply boring comments will be edited.

Cling film

There are some standard questions that people considering moving here, or buying a second home here, always ask. In no particular order, these are:

1. How long have you lived here?
2. Where did you/how did you/how long did it take to learn Portuguese?
3. How often do you go back to England?
4. What do you miss most about home?

I have off pat answers for all of these, but I have been giving further consideration to number 4 recently. In the past I have missed music (but FNAC and Itunes have got that covered now), technology (FNAC and Ebay solve that), the pub (no real solution) and the odd friend. But yesterday, whilst in the kitchen, I realised there is something I miss more than all of these, and something that is nearly as infuriating as the poor standard of driving here. It is cling film.
I like things that do what they say, ergo cling film should be a film that clings. Not here. I looked cling film up in a Portuguese dictionary, and the definition was "a clear membrane, that will not stick to anything except itself. Useful for annoying idiots who try and cover food etc with it. "
I think it is a bloody conspiracy, as you end up using loads of cling film and wrap it around the plate 3 times so it sticks to itself. So, I am using 3 times as much cling film.
Someone, somewhere is an evil cling film billionaire. I'll get my revenge one day.
Update: I have just read that cling film accounts for 8% of Portugal's GDP. The plot thickens.

All change!

It´s been a period where many things have been changing here, and today really brought that home to me. We have a new road just opened, which will increase the ease we can all access keyparts of the central algarve (but won´t reduce accidents as some of it is terribly designed), new planning regulations with regard to construction (PROTAL)(bad news really, beacuse so few people are correctly informed and it creates false effects within the property market), a new name (ALLGARVE) which is a bit of a joke really, as no-one seems to know about it (or care about it either). It is also clear that, on a general scale, there is a drive towards quality, sustainable tourism and development, and this is an excellent thing for the future of the Algarve.

Strangely enough, it was none of these things that really brought home to me the changes occurring around us. I skived off work early today, and went to the beach with the family. We have always gone to a certain part of the beach, just off the beaten track, and with a family run beach bar (a little shabby, but with excellent food, and well priced). There was a small car park, with no charge to park there. It was never too busy, but just busy enough.
So, today we arrive at the beach, 2 kids and about 500kg of plastic buckets, spades, etc. etc and the car park has been removed (we have to take a ticket from a machine, where an old bloke used to stand and say hello, give you a ticket and wait for you to leave and settle your account). the beach bar has been demolished, along with the massive palms that used to stand next to it (definitely now in someone's garden) and replace with a new hi-tech looking bar, with a sister restaurant nearby.

It all looks very nice, and inviting. So we went to the beach, dug holes, nearly drowned the kids, saw some pink people sunbathing (WHY?) and then went for a snack and a drink. Service was good, food was poor, and by jingo it was expensive (3 times the price of a coffee anywhere else).
We came away a little sad that a tiny piece of the real reason we love to live here has disappeared for ever. The tourists and new people will never know about Raffy´s bar, but it is a crying shame that it only exists in our memories and photos. Onwards and upwards I suppose, but I miss it. Am I getting old?

Algarve Driving Tips-Part 2

So, following on from the (very unpopular) original post regarding driving tips in the Algarve (http://ordinary-life-rm.blogspot.com/2007/02/algarve-driving-tips-part-1.html if you missed it) I am now going to start the second lesson, which will cover some aspects of driving on "normal" roads.
First, some basic rules. For around 10 months of the year there are very few people on the road. It is, therefore, perfectly acceptable to drive for 12 months of the year as if there is no-one about. Now, if someone happens to be in the way when you cut your favourite corner, you have the right to shrug your shoulders and there is no need to apologise. Lets face it, they will soon be gone anyway.
Pedestrians at pedestrian crossings must give way to cars. Think of the crossing as a target area, rather than a safe place to cross the road.
There are certain things you must possess in and around your vehicle. Ignoring the legal requirements (we only worry about those once a year at inspection time), the key items are:
Dirt. Self explanatory. We are far too busy being busy to clean our cars. Especially if we have two kids who want to help by using the kitchen scourer.
Someone else´s aerial. I have no idea who first pinched someone else´s aerial in the supermarket car park, but they started a chain reaction that became an epidemic. Superglue has never been so popular.
Some form of "vote for" or protest sticker. It must be seriously out of date for any street cred to be gained.
Hubcaps (complete). Everyone knows hire cars have no hub caps and are silver. If you have a silver car with hub caps missing, you will be scorned.
Dents/damage. It is a little known fact that before the Army went to Iraq, to get the soldiers accustomed to driving in hostile situations they were sent to the Algarve, given hire cars, and made to drive around at either 9 in the morning, or after lunch. I have to admit, I have crashed every single car I have owned (and I few I haven´t) but never as regularly as since I lived here.
Roadworks
AAAAARRRGGH. OK, no-one likes roadworks but sometimes the "organisation" defies belief. We know that the roadworks need to be completed before the tourist season, fair enough, but it seems the pressure of working to a deadline gets too much sometimes. One example. I went to work, and tried to enter the motorway. It was closed, because at last someone has owned up and agreed it should have been tarmac in the first place, not noisy concrete. So, the diversion wants me to go west (I wanted to go east) along the motorway for about 30 km, turn off and come back on myself. This is bad enough, but when there is a perfectly good road which runs parallel to the motorway, and drops us off at the next junction why not send us there instead? Lets face it , it was good enough when there was no motorway. Absolute madness.
Roundabouts
Now this subject has been covered well at http://algarvianlife.blogspot.com/2007/05/magic-roundabouts.html but I can not resist to add my bit.

• The roundabout is not a car park. Ever. Ponte final.
• You do not overtake on a roundabout
• You do not stop on the roundabout and then motion traffic waiting at the stop line to join the roundabout.
• It is neither big nor clever to ignore your indicators whilst navigating a roundabout.
• Lane discipline. This phrase does not mean " I am in this lane and I will use it for whatever exit I choose, regardless of how much I cut someone else up. I will not ever use the other lane, that is my discipline."

Speed.
If you have read my previous post you will know the speed limits are only advisory. There are some special tips I have picked up to avoid the radar controlled traffic lights.
Firstly, if you are approaching the lights and you drive on the wrong side of the road the radar does not pick you up. I have seen this first hand, and was amazed.
Secondly, if you go really fast, you get through the lights and the poor sod behind you gets caught at the red light.
Thirdly, if you do get caught they are not "real" traffic lights so you do not have to stop.
Driving etiquette
i have mixed feelings on this, as recently I have noticed people will sometimes give you a wave to say thanks, or even let you out of a side road. A sign of change in the Algarve?
That concludes today's lesson. Soon you can take your Algarve driving test, but a few more lessons to come first.
One last point. Before anyone starts whinging at this being a negative, anti-algarve drivers post (or anti-anything for that fact) think about this-How do I have such in depth knowledge of poor driving practices, and why does my Insurance Broker send me a crate of Champagne every Christmas?